Top 5 Ways To Know Your Relationship Is On The Rocks

5. She shaves your eyebrows off while you are asleep.

4. Your picture on her wall has darts in it.

3. She reads books like “Women are From Venus, Men Are Complete Jerks.”

2. When you call her, she answers with, “Oh. It’s only you.”

1. She makes inquiries about going in the Witness Protection Program.